Did I Miss a F*n Memo?

I’m pissed. What the hell happened to my TV? I don’t mean the actual box, but the institution known as television.

The Christmas season is one of my favorite times of year for many reasons, but primarily because it’s Christmas. If you can’t understand that then that’s your problem.

So, here it is…. November 30th. The advent calendar hasn’t been touched yet… I’ll probably grab the Christmas stuff from storage this weekend so we have it for when we get the tree next weekend. I’ve got a few minutes to kill so I figure let me head over to the new home of Christmas TV, ABC (I had such fond memories of seeing the CBS eye before something great was about to come on, but alas… I guess I’m just an angry old ass).

I click on their PrimeTime link figuring that’s where I’ll find the lineup of things that are on during prime time (how’s THAT for information architecture?!). Ahh, there it is… second in the list of Holiday Specials…. A Charlie Brown Christmas.

I’m getting giddy with anticipation. Let’s see when it’s on, then fire up the DVR (I miss my TiVo because it could do this for me and I wouldn’t be resorting to angry emails and using the Internets to vent my frustrations) to set it to tape. Click the ever powerful hyperlink to see…


Did you catch that? Not sure? Okay, I’ll repeat it.

NOVEMBER F*ING 27. This past Tuesday.

I don’t f*ing believe it. I already missed it. It’s not even December and I missed my favorite goddamn Christmas show!

After firing off a nasty email to the good people at ABC (it’s hard to say it all in 500 characters or less), I head over to their “Start Here for the Holidays” page (which should’ve been called “Let’s piss off most of America when they realize that we put everything good on during that extra week after Thanksgiving”), only to find that I also missed The Grinch! [1]

Now, I understand that November began on a Thursday which pulls Thanksgiving back to the 22nd so there’s actually over an entire week between Thanksgiving and the first of December. What I don’t understand is how the boneheads at ABC think that the adults who are (should be) in charge of determining what their kids watch would think that the good stuff is going to get put on during that extra bonus week. That weeks’ for trying out the new bizarro movies like “He’s a Bully, Charlie Brown” or “I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown”.

The classics need to be on at predictable times because they’re classics. For instance, the more sane people at CBS are airing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on December 4th. That’s still early in my book, but these things have been creeping earlier every year along with holiday marketing in general. I don’t think I need to tell you how much I enjoy 24 hours of A Christmas Story on TBS on Christmas Eve, ore the Yule Log on channel 11 on Christmas morning.

How am I going to share in this tradition with my kids now? DVDs don’t have that same special-ness that a pre-scheduled TV show has. There’s an excitement to knowing that something’s on at a given time on a given day. I used to be so excited the day that Charlie Brown was on; we’d talk about it at school that day, and then again the following day!

I seriously hope that lots of people missed these shows, not for the misfortune of missing them, but for the lousy ratings and poor ad performance that results from bad scheduling. Maybe humanity as a whole can help take back the airwaves by boycotting bad decisions and holding out for change.

Who am I kidding. I’m just plain pissed.

[1]: Cartoon Network has The Grinch on twice that I can tell next week, but it’s just the movie and not the special edition with the story of the story after it